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I'm right all the time so just refrain
disobedience and its ingredients I will just not entertain
don't answer me back and we'll be fine
the last word is mine.

So go on and do as you're told Mary, at once

I can't be Mary
cause Mary is dumpy why Mary is fat
Mary has freckles and sings like a cat, I'm not Mary.

Don't be stupid, of course you are
if I say you're Mary, then you're Mary
you don't make me budge, my word is law
Time's diminishing it we must be finishing
you are a pest and a bore
be off with you child, go sulk and whine
the last word is mine.

So go on and fetch my gloves and fan Mabel, at once

I can't be Mabel
cause Mabel is skinny she looks like a bean
Mabel is stingy she's ever so mean
I'm not Mabel.

If I say you are Mabel, then you are Mabel
you won't ever learn that I am right
you're unteachable, your brain's unreachable
in fact you're not very bright

Music by John Barry
Lyrics by Don Black
Sung by Michael Crawford and Fiona Fullerton
(needs correction but is a start)