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Ensemble
At the busy Bed-d-by Motel,
There’s no better place to buy and sell,
And no better place for any fel-
low to go to go hell.
At convention time with all the boys,
There’s nothing that a man enjoys
More than making money, love and noise
Than the Bed-d-by Motel.

You can have your Puerto Rican cruise;
The Catskills without the Jew;
Del Ray or Fort Lauderdale…
They’re gonna seem pale…
Once you jump around the Bed-d-by,
Once your feet have found the Bed-d-by,
You’ll be happy just to live and die
At the Bed-d-by Motel.

Bliss
And a very good “good evening” to
Mr. Quilty, in the hope that you
Are enjoying what you came to do
At the Bed-d-by Motel.

[Quilty introduces “Miss Darkbloom, my accountant.]

Bliss
Yes, we know the lady very well
At the Bed-d-by Motel.

Quilty
What a continental atmosphere.
The charm of some long lost year.
A garden from who knows where,
Like Madison Square.

Ensemble
You can have your San Diego Zoo,
Disneyland, or Honolulu-lu.
They will fade away the moment you
Hit the Bed-dy-by Motel.

Bliss
On behalf of all the personnel,
Welcome to the Bed-dy-by Motel.
May the Lord forever smile on you.
Any credit card’ll do

Man
Have you got a double room that’s free?
Something cozy for my… wife… and me?

Bliss
Take this couple up to 302.
And may God be good to you.

[Humbert gets a room for himself and Lolita.]

Bliss
Take this couple up to 342,
And may God be good to both of you.

Ensemble
Once you jump around the Bed-d-by,
Once your feet have found the Bed-d-by,
You’ll be happy just to live and die…
At the Bed-d-by…
Bed-d-by…
Bed-d-by…
By…

Music John Barry
Lyrics: Alan Jay Lerner