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We will go to church on Sundays,
What a life we'll lead.
Mum and Dad will come on Mondays,
Tuesdays, we will read.
Wednesdays, we'll go out and have a snack,
Thursdays, I will sew.
Fridays, we'llhelp Mum and Dad to pack,
Saturdays, they'll go.
Every star that's in the sky
Will belong to Bill and I.
She's a witch, she's a witch!
She's a dull and boring bitch!
I would like to wring her neck and dump her body
in a ditch. She's as lifeless as a slab;
She's repulsive, she is drab.
She's a witch! Evil witch!
She's a witch, she's a witch!
She's enough to make you twitch.
If you put her on a broom you couldn't tell which witch is which.
She is dreadful, she is vile.
And one day I swear that I'll
Kill the witch, cowing witch!
He will love and cherish me. Oh, how sweet our life will be We will
go to church... (etc.)
(Counter melody)
She's a witch, she's a witch!
She's a wicked ice-cold bitch!
I could plug her in a socket and then quickly pull the switch.
How I hate her virgin lips,
Hope she chokes on orange pips.
What a bitch! Rotten witch!
She's a witch, she's a witch!
She's enough to make you itch.
And one day I'll plan her murder; it will go without a hitch.
When her neck is in the noose
I will chuck some orange juice
At the witch, cowing witch!

John Barry
Don Black
sung by Michael Crawford, Gay Soper